![]() Fellow passengers stand back to let you pass. Then you make your move: sidling up to the vacant seat but with your eyes fixed on the doors, as if you merely intend to get off. ![]() ![]() The people standing nearest obviously have priority, and hover ostentatiously. The train comes into the station, and someone prepares to stand up. Manspreaders? Sodcasters? People who hit other passengers by wearing a backpack big enough to transport an upright piano? No, I’m talking about people who do the “fake exit” to get a seat on a packed carriage. Now that Transport for London is on the verge of its mighty victory against Uber, I’m wondering who else it can get tough with. ‘I’m talking about the people who do the fake exit to get a seat on a packed carriage.’ Photograph: Alamy The president’s Twitter limit should be lifted to 140,000 characters. So why not encourage Mr Trump’s notorious tendency to stream-of-consciousness verbiage in another direction? That’s the sort of thing to make everyone tune out from pure boredom – including people in Pyongyang. As Hillary Clinton said: he is someone you can bait with a tweet – and he is someone who baits with a tweet (which can, with a single click, be translated into Korean). He has got used to being punchy, and punchiness in someone with a fist near the nuclear button isn’t good. The US president’s traditional signoff –“Sad!” – is a function of this constriction. Like everyone else on the site, Donald Trump has got used to the 140 limit, and like all addicted Twitter users regards it as a fact of life, or law of nature. Twitter is experimenting with doubling its character limit to 280, and the only question is: how does this affect the chances of you, me and everyone in the world being annihilated in a nuclear war? It does affect these chances – but advantageously. Trump’s ultimate deterrentĪ North Korean missile test. Could it be that, as with the so-called infidelity site Ashley Madison, a lot of the young female images will be fake? In which case the site could be renamed GullibleMenMeetCunningWebsiteOwner. And of course it’s overwhelmingly conceited and deluded men who’ll be paying. We could, for example, apply Mrs Merton’s legendary interview question to Louise Linton, the glamorous 36-year-old wife of the US Treasury secretary: “What first attracted you to the staggeringly wealthy banker and movie producer Steven Mnuchin?”Īs Marilyn Monroe says in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes: “Don’t you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty? You wouldn’t marry a girl just because she’s pretty – but, my goodness, doesn’t it help?” But the point is that RichMeetBeautiful is looking for thousands of registrations. It could claim it’s only being honest about brutal market forces that traditionally link up rich guys and younger spouses. ![]() The controversy is wonderful publicity for the site. ![]()
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